1st Quarter (ha) Report

I tried to set myself an attainable goal of posting quarterly (at least) this year. So far, I'm not doing so hot but I'm very very close! Since my last post was in September, I'll lead with last year's review via Shutterfly...

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We've covered a lot of ground since then.

In January, we broke the Christmas sled on the first run. Neither of us cried. Katy's more about the playground anyway and I'm not much for hauling her butt back up the hill multiple times. We saw The Mitten at Stages Theater in Hopkins. Highly recommend that theater for kiddos. Prices are reasonable and it was a fun show. I got a chance to enter the Winter Carnival Puzzle Contest with some friends and although we didn't come close to winning, we had a fun time. The veteran puzzlers are hard core, egads.

February rang in with a weekend getaway to The Depot hotel, waterpark and ice rink. Evi and Rachel came down to stay and Kat and Frances came swimming for the day (and the girls formed a band in the arcade). Lisa and Leo met us at Flamingo for Ethiopian food. Great food and comfortable atmosphere for our rambunctious kids (not Leo, he's an angel, just our two crazies). We celebrated Piper's birthday and then had another visit from Rachel and Evi to see The Hungry Caterpillar at the Children's Theater. Katy and I visited the Minneapolis Institute of Arts the week before for Family Art Day and also to get $10 tickets to the show. We also met some other single mom friends at the MOA for rides and Rainforest Cafe. Side note to that, never take a sensory avoiding child on a bunch of rides and then to a restaurant where it thunders and flashes lightening every few minutes. Melt. Down. The next day we were recovered enough to pop over to Geb and Frances's house for some light box fun. And still, winter marched on.

 Valentine's hair and sass. Because it's too cute to skip...

March we caught our breath a bit. Disney on Ice was a big hit and we didn't even use the headphones to muffle the sound! We also checked out the Auto Show and had a great time until we saw the mobile video game van and then had a Melt. Down. when we had to leave. Max and Adam took us to the Shrine Circus where there were also ponies to ride and cotton candy to eat and light sabers and balloons to take home and break.

 

We went up north to visit Rachel and Evi in April. It was a jam packed weekend as per usual. The girls sported their new elephant sweaters that I finally finished knitting at Zaria's birthday party (and yes that is a picnic table in the snow for depth reference). We had an awesome Pirate Bath and prepared to watch Frozen with dinner at Chilly Billy's. Yum. When it got dark we pulled out the Glow Stick Skirts! I had a lot of fun making them up and sewing them and I think the girls enjoyed them. Katy not surprisingly deconstructed hers after some encouragement to twirl a bit first. We wrapped up the weekend with our standard Big City Bagel breakfast and then some fort-making. whew! Easter came late this year and we celebrated with the Hansons at their 3rd Annual Easter Eggstravaganza. Not as warm as the first one but at least there was grass instead of a foot of snow like the second one. Katy raked in many eggs filled with treats.

May. Good lord, this goes on forever! If anyone is still reading, I'll keep going with our May adventures. We started the month with my birthday, which began with Riley's broken toenail and Blood. Everywhere. She recovered from the anesthesia at home while Kim, Max and Adam went with us to the park. She then went on to get Vestibular Syndrome, which is basically dog vertigo. Eyes zig-zag back and forth and she walks around drunk. Took two weeks but she's over it now. Still has a cone from the dumb raw toe though. ughA. Mother's day weekend Rachel and Evi came and we packed in too much, again. Friday was Katy's school carnival. Bouncy houses, cotton candy (when will we learn?), games and balloon hats. Super crazy and also fun! Saturday we did the "Besties" package with Laura Monahan Photography. Can't wait to see the pictures from that! Apparently we'll be on the bloopers page with Evi pulling Katy's hair. Yikes. We went from there to Broadway Pizza for a free birthday giant cookie pizza and got a pizza to go for the girls for dinner. Rachel and I left the girls under the charge of a new sitter and ran away went to dinner and a show. Plymouth Playhouse's Church Basement Ladies are a hoot! We came home to sleeping princesses and they had their first slumber party in Katy's room. I'd post the 'surveillance video' but I can't decide which part is the funniest. You'll just have to imagine. There were giggles, whispers, pitter patter of little feet and then some screeching. Sunday morning Glam Doll donuts breakfast and another Family Art Day at MIA. We nearly made it home safely without any Melt. Downs. but Evi saved us with a perfectly timed pull of sleeping Katy's hair in the car. Well, besides a bit of that, it was a great time!

And I'll finish this up with our latest adventure, Katy's new bike! We call her Wild Flower, mostly because that's what it says on the side of the bike. Katy loved it until the first few spills and now I'm pulling her on it. Baby steps. We needed to upgrade from last year's bike because she's grown probably 4 inches since then and it was tiny. Like a clown bike. I can't believe she's getting to be such a grown up girl!

And so it begins - pink is everywhere

It creeps up on me every year, the pinkwashing of every product from soup to nuts (literally and figuratively). And unfailingly, I am asked how I feel about it by friends and strangers alike. Well that's a complicated question and one that's been answered in every form by every type of person you can imagine. Survivors, caregivers, experts in fields related and unrelated to cancer and also the average joe. I can't say what it means in a broad scope. I can't even say what it means to me because it changes yearly, hell even daily. But as a single mom, coping with a diagnosis of metastatic stage IV breast cancer I've learned to go with the flow. If I feel like Pinktober sucks that day, I can say that. The next day I might be more optimistic.

I've discovered there's a cycle I've gone through since I first noticed there was such a thing as a pink ribbon. Similar to the stages of grief (which a diagnosis brings on anyway), the pink ribbon has had stages of feelings.

Blissful Pink
Still in the sunshine and butterflies pink, blissfully ignorant of it all, just noticing the pink, not sure what it means or why I should care. "That's a pretty pink ribbon, and breast cancer seems bad so it won't hurt if I donate to something helping it." "Oh, breast cancer. My neighbor's sister had that but she's cured now." 

Desperate Pink
Crap, crap, shit hitting the fan pink. Now I have it, what do I do with it. Get a kick-ass wig, a prayer shawl and a parking pass at the hospital.  "Well the pink ribbon helped others, it's sure to help me too."

Invisible Pink
Pink? What pink, I don't have breast cancer anymore pink. Get a certificate for finishing treatment, get hair back and try to forget it ever happened. It's the head in the sand approach that doesn't really work when it's everywhere. "Pink, sure it's all good but that's behind me now, I don't need it anymore."

Angry Pink
Despair and anger from the depths of my soul pink. Goddamn pink ribbon didn't fucking do anything for me, why should anyone else get to feel good about it. And why should they anyway, it's not like it's cured or anything. "This wasn't supposed to happen, the pink ribbon said I was cured." "What good is early detection if it doesn't do anything to the outcome?"

Amicable Pink
Just like an amicable divorce is still a divorce, guess what, cancer is still a terminal disease pink. Regardless of the statistics, someone will die from it. Maybe not you but someone. Does that mean we shouldn't have raised awareness? Does that mean it should be all about me, the 'loser' in the fight? Guess what, I haven't lost yet. I'm still a survivor, even if my pink is a bit tarnished and battered. Let's just not forget that for all the early detection and 'cured' survivors, there's someone out there living the battle every day. And living with gusto and grace. "Yes I have breast cancer but it doesn't have me, and it shouldn't have you either."

On any given day, I might fluctuate between some or all of these stages. I wholeheartedly support my meta-sisters in the fight to remember the 30% of us who don't get to forget it ever happened. I also support the early detected, treated and released survivors who are lucky enough to be in the majority. Sure wish I could be one of you and I hope you can stay there forever. But as long as I can't, consider me thankful to be here to debate the issue.

Just a little glimpse into our morning

Riley's morning routine today:

2:00am wandering through the house. Then to the back door to be let out, only to decide the grass was too wet and maybe it could wait.

7:30am getting forced out of bed to go outside, then inside back onto the couch to fall back to sleep

My morning routine today:

2:00am up to let Riley out, on leash so she doesn't wander, only to come right back in when she is done (see above).

6:30am waking to strange noises in the kitchen, only to find...

Katy's morning routine today:

5:15am waking up and wandering about in her room.

5:30am wandering outside of her room, presumably to the kitchen

5:35am back to her room, with my phone. Scrolling to find Pandora and then listening to the Disney musicals station we had last listened to. Also scheduling a meeting with my calendar app.

5:45am bored with music, she wanders back out to the living room to scatter my knitting bag's contents all around the floor.

6:00am to the kitchen, moving her chair to the counter to try to log in to the laptop, thankfully unsuccessfully. Then moving her chair to the sink to find the 20oz cup of lemonade I had taken out of the refrigerator last night in order to empty and toss but unfortunately forgot to. Promptly finishing said lemonade. At which point I wake up and come in to the kitchen as she is directing an imaginary marching band with two double pointed knitting needles. Upon seeing me, she gleefully explains (while holding giant empty lemonade cup) "It's all gone, mama, it's all gone!!!!"

Good grief, I'm going to be very nervous when she figures out how to open the doors to the outside. Apologies to her daycare teachers for whatever today brings. I'm guessing an early nap and a very wet naptime diaper. (insert sheepish grin here)

Tonight is another installment of "movies in mommy's bed" night. We will be screening Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. I'm hoping her love for musicals extends beyond The Music Man. While I am a big fan of 76 trombones, it can get a little old after a while!

What movies are your toddlers into?