Important information day...and a little whining

I wouldn't call this blog a wealth of deep and insightful knowledge. Probably, you'd say it is a nice picture book with the occasional recipe. All good, I say. I never claimed to be anything other than just another page on the internet, just trying to get from day to day. But today, I have something that you might even find useful (if you're adopting anyway).

Anyone who has been through or is going through the process of international adoption (and I would guess also domestic adoption) knows it is challenging on many levels. This month, my challenge has been paperwork. Not that it is necessarily more or less than the giant stack that sits in my office, tipping over at random occasions. And anyone who knows me knows that I tend to be just on the edge of compulsive about organization (I'll just let you decide which side). I think I just hit the wall. I'm done with needing more forms and more checking and more everything. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want the process to be so easy, any psycho could do it. I'm just whining that I'm over it all. My baby waits for me, let's get on with it. Ok so that's my whine for the day, on to the important information.

As you start the adoption process you start to amass papers. Application forms, agency information and references to start. Then you move on to dossier forms, in duplicate and triplicate, notarized and authenticated by the state. Then that stack sits for a long time. Then you get a referral-yea! More forms and more papers. stack stack stack. More waiting then a court date. What do you bring? I brought my whole dossier and never took it out of the suitcase. But I had it, darnit!

Court gets passed (sometimes quick, sometimes slow) then you wait some more. Now, with a new addition to the process, there are more forms! DS-230, i600 and i864. Before, you would fill them out and bring them with you, now you get to do them early, notarize them and then bring more unsigned copies with you. Good gravy.

Now on to the fun part. Everyone who has received their i171H form, go now, look through the stack(s) of papers and get it out.

I'll wait...

Ok take a look at the bottom right hand corner, the part where it says 'Fingerprint Expires On:'. Write that down on a big piece of paper and put it on your refrigerator where you can look at it every day. That way, you won't get a call on Tuesday saying 'let's overnight a fingerprint request to USCIS since they expire on Thursday'. sigh.

It's right there on the bottom right hand corner...

Not to be confused with the top right hand corner which is when the actual i171H expires...

I've read blog after blog and lurked on countless adoption lists. Along the way I've read stories of people scrambling at the last minute because their fingerprints expired and they were in the process of traveling. I've always shook my head and wondered how that could possibly happen since everything is on a form for you to file and remember. And then, it happened to me. Waa? Boo. Well I thought I was good until August but then I hadn't looked at my i171H since I got it, back in February of last year. And really. Seriously. Fingerprints expire? Like they'll change? sigh again.

So I scrambled, wrote a very nice letter and overnighted it to USCIS. I now have a new fingerprinting appointment on May 16th and am praying desperately that I haven't delayed our reunion any longer than it would have been already.

And now pass this knowledge on to you. Just trying to do my part for my vast readership :-)

Missing Ethiopia

A few days ago, through the magic of the internet and the thoughtfulness of internet friends, I was able to see some new pictures of my baby girl. Along with those pictures was a great view of other places outside the transition house, in and around Addis Ababa. When we were there we met a mom who has been in Addis for a few months with her new daughter waiting for the embassy to get their paperwork done. While I know that she would much prefer being at home with her family all together, I know she is experiencing Ethiopia in a way that is truly a gift for her and her daughter. It made me think about the kind of trip I thought I would have and the one that actually happened.

I spent hours researching Ethiopia. Lalibela, Gondar, the Blue Nile, Lake Tanna and other amazing places. Even after making the trip plans and knowing our time was short I thought I'd get to see at least a little of what I read about. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed every minute we got to spend with Katy and all of the kids at the transition house. I can't help but think though, that by not going anywhere else, I've let her down a little. Some day, she'll ask about her country and I won't have anything to share except the road between the guest house and her transition house and pictures that other people took on their trips. I know the purpose of my trip. To meet her and go to court. I get that and did that and loved it. And yet, I feel like I didn't see what it means to be in Ethiopia, experiencing the country and the culture and it makes me sad for her.

Needless to say, the change jar is out and getting filled in anticipation of another trip someday. When she's old enough to remember, we'll be able to go back together and really experience her country like we should have the first time.

Sunday Snapshot 4/3/11 - Introducing...

I'd like to officially introduce Baby G! Beautiful Kathryn Hewan is being cared for by a bunch of great nannies and awaits my return hopefully sometime soon.

Check out the other beautiful Sunday Snapshots at this week...

Travel post #4 - Israel

Leaving Ethiopia was incredibly hard. I was excited to see my friend Susan and her life in Israel but I definitely left a part of me at that transition house. I'm so glad I made the extra stop on the trip, it was another amazing experience!

Here's a satellite view of the places we went...

The flight left at 11pm and arrived in Tel Aviv at 2:40am. Passport control had quite a few questions for me and I realized how unprepared I was. Seems like it was important to have Susan's address and I didn't. I guess it was fine in the end and she let me through. Susan and Yoni there to pick me up (thanks guys!) and we headed to Susan's apartment to sleep for a few hours. Her apartment is pretty small and houses Susan and her five dogs. Yes, five. All of them very cute and very much their 8 month age.

No, they don't normally get to be up on the furniture! Once we had a chance to sleep a bit, we took off and explored the promenade nearby. We rode down to Jaffa and dipped our feet in the Mediterranean Sea. We had shwarma for dinner, yum!

The next morning we walked to the shuk, which is the outdoor market. After having some pastries we found a restaurant with outside seating and shared some shakshouka, yum! We needed a good breakfast in us because we headed to Jerusalem by bus for an afternoon of "extreme urban tourism" which consists of taking in as many sights as possible in a short time. The bus ride was less than an hour and then we wandered aimlessly for a bit. We found a great guide (or rather he found us) and it was well worth it!

The old city was amazing (I know I keep using that word but it really was). So many of those places we learned about in bible classes came to life. The steps that Jesus walked to his trial with Pontius Pilate...

And the stone on which he was cruicified...

Our guide took us on the Jewish/Christian tour so we got to see important places for both faiths. Certainly we would not have been able to do it on our own. Not in a half a day, that's for sure! The bus ride home took us through the very strictest orthodox section of town, it was very interesting (but not so much for taking pictures, plus it was dark).

The next morning we walked down to the art fair nearby. I would totally be broke if I lived there, I wanted to buy everything! Sadly, the suitcases were full already. Now I have to figure out how to get some of the stuff I should have bought shipped over here. hmm. I did find a stained glass sun for my wall of suns...

Susan lives in the textile district and there were many stores with the coolest fabric, I wanted to buy a lot of that too! We bought some for Susan's bench to re-cover and we planned to make pillows for each of us with another great buy. After shopping, we met up with Yoni and his sister for a drive north. First stop was a look at a house Susan has since signed the lease to rent. A whole house! With a separate entrance for her business. A yard for the dogs! It was just perfect, I'm so happy for her! We left there and stopped for lunch at an herb farm not too far away. (nothing is really that far away in a small country, right) Across the valley, the city of Nazareth...

After lunch, a stop for some wildflower viewing. It didn't seem like much to a midwesterner like me but taking into account the heat and dry climate of Israel it was pretty rare to see there.

We were losing the light and took off for our last stop, the sea of Galilee. It was dark when we got there so we didn't see much but I did put my hand in the water because I couldn't go all the way there and not.

We drove home and spent a few hours re-covering the bench. The pillows didn't happen but somehow the fabric sneaked into my suitcase :-) The taxi picked me up at 2:15am for a 5:30am flight to Amsterdam. I thought that was plenty of time but it turns out that the security was quite a trip in itself.

First, you get in one line. Security comes through the line while you are waiting to ask all the standard questions and review your passport and boarding pass. At the end of that line, you have your checked bags x-rayed. Then you get in another line. There, everyone gets their checked bags unpacked and wanded (not sure why, and they weren't sharing). Then you repack (grr) and get in another line. That line gets your bags checked and your ticket issued. Then, another line for passport control. More questions and a review of your ticket and passport. Yet another line, this time the metal detector for you and your carryon bag x-rayed. Then you move to the end of that line and have your carryon unpacked, wanded and re-x-rayed. (and not just me, everyone). Once done there, you go to the gate, go through another xray and metal detector then you're on the plane. The whole time, with your shoes on. At least we had that going for us!

All in all it took two hours. And that is with the gate agents pulling the Amsterdam passengers out and moving us to the front of each line. I can only imagine how long it would have taken if they hadn't done that! I was ready to sleep on the plane and got in a few good hours. A 6 hour layover in Amsterdam went quickly. I tried to get a window seat not over the wing. The gate agent assured me it was nowhere near the wing (I knew better. grr.) and indeed I was smack over the center. Hard to get a picture of my house from the plane if I'm over the wing! Oh well, next trip I guess.

I took a taxi home and Riley was there to greet me, yea! The couch felt so good and so did a nice long shower. So that's how to see Israel in three days. I missed out on a lot, I know. But three days is better than no days! I took a bunch more pictures which you can see here. I'm a little fried but full of memories that I'll treasure forever.

Travel post #3 - Ethiopia!

I've wanted to write this post for a very long time. Maybe not the actual writing of the post but the trip it's about. But how do you condense a lifetime of waiting and a cultural overload into one post? I'm sure others will do it eloquently and much better than I will but I'll put it out there just the same.

We left London in the evening to arrive in Addis Ababa early the next morning. The flight was fine, just not nearly as comfortable as the flight to London. Susan and Erik had a very nice, very large man at the end of their row and I gave up my window seat to the large man stuck in the middle seat. Trying for good karma and getting an uncomfortable night but oh well. Mostly I just wanted to take pictures of my first view of Africa from the plane before we landed but I had to stow my carryon overhead because it didn't fit. grr. It was a beautiful sight, you'll have to take my word for it. It was my first flight where one of the food choices was fish. Seems like an odd dish to serve, fish being so polarizing and well, smelly. I chose the beef :-)

Here's a satellite view of many of the stops on our trip...

We got to the airport and I expected a sign with the guest house name or our name or something but there was no one there for us. I think we came in a bit early? So, it was my first attempt at using the fancy global phone that Verizon provided for the trip. Despite their instructions on how to dial in country, I could not for the life of me figure it out. It was very frustrating! A very nice person at a booth nearby figured it out for me and I reached the guest house. They said someone would come right away. We stood around blinking and yawning, and completely forgot to exchange money at the airport.

Don't forget to change some money at the airport! You can probably get someone to drive you to a bank but we had difficulties with them accepting our bills even though they were newer than 2003 like we were told. Lesson learned, I'll be more put together next time.

We were driven to the guest house and dropped off. Unsure what to do, we just hung around the living room and talked to the people already staying there. I was so grateful to have people there who had their wits about them! Everyone staying there was so nice and helpful! One of the kids there to meet her new brothers even wrote out a bunch of Amharic words translated to English and gave us a copy. So sweet and thoughtful! She'll be a great sister to her brothers I'm sure.

Here's the guest house courtyard, living room and some views from the windows...

Finally we got our rooms and we dumped our luggage. Aggie and Z were our hosts and let us know we'd be going to the transition house to pick up Baby G and bring her back. huh? I was not prepared and felt like the worst mom ever, and I hadn't even started yet! Turns out the other agency using the guest house has the kids stay there. Whew. As much as I would have LOVED that, I didn't bring anything like diapers or food or anything. Sigh. So they took us to the transition house and dropped us off. Here's the transition house and courtyard...

Again, unsure what to do and no one really there to let us know, we headed into the room where there were kids playing. I saw my baby girl, in the corner on a brightly colored mat, drinking away from a bottle. I knew in an instant it was her (had some doubts seeing only a couple of pictures) and she is adorable. Just perfect. I'm not sure what the right words are to describe how amazing it was to finally meet her, get to hold her and play with her. I'll have more on that later when I feel more comfortable about introducing her whole self to the internet.

Aren't these feet just precious?

Thankfully, there on the couch was a couple from New York on their court visit too. They'd been there a week and had many tips for us. Their kids, 6 and 4-yr old siblings were a joy and we were happy to spend time with them during our visit. Happy, playful, polite and friendly even though they didn't speak much English. While we tried to stay awake, they let us know where to get good pizza (Island Breeze) and decent internet (Hilton). They shared their trip and how they spent most of the day at the transition house and evenings at the guest house. Turns out that's what we did too. I would have loved to see more of the country but hated to sacrifice any time with my girl.

We did head out one day to the National Museum with our driver Daniel. He took us to a shop for souvenirs and we ate at the Lucy Cafe, next to the museum. It might have been a tourist stop but I'd recommend it! Susan, Erik and Daniel ate traditional Ethiopian food and I tried the Indian food. They even had diet coke on the menu! (they were out, sadly for the diet coke drinkers in our group). One note to remember, if you're a big fan of diet coke, it is quite rare in Ethiopia. I'd recommend bringing it with you if you really need it.

One day we walked over to the Simien Hotel with another couple staying at the transition house. The buffet was traditional and very tasty (and they had wi-fi!). We also took a look at the rooms and it seems like a great candidate for lodging on the next trip. It was a 20 minute casual walk from the house and the rooms were nice and had a range of prices. We also had dinner at the Zebra Grill with a woman who's been staying in the country since December, waiting on her embassy date. It was great to meet her and her daughter! 

Friday was our court date. We hadn't arranged for the driver to take us, I guess I thought it was already arranged. The whole driver thing got me a bit confused. I'll definitely have a better handle on it for the next trip. I thought they would know when and where we were supposed to go places and they would arrange for it. At least that was my understanding. Honestly sometimes I feel like such a bumpkin! ugh. Anyway, we figured it out and met the lawyer and the other couples at the courthouse.

We filed into a big room with other adoptive parents as well as many birth families. When it was our turn we all went into the judge's room together. She confirmed all of our cases and we answered in unison to all of her questions. It was all pretty easy procedurally but nerve wracking emotionally. One couple was able to meet the birth mother after the court appearance. I can only imagine how emotional that must have been! None of us had our MOWA letters that day. Since then a few have come in, mine included! I am officially a mom!

What an amazing experience! There's so much more to it than a blog post. It was hard to take it all in and still live in the moment. I am counting the minutes until we get to go back!

Good: meeting and spending time with my daughter (duh), experiencing the culture and the people, meeting other adoptive families and their great kids

Bad: leaving my daughter (duh again), leaving creature comforts behind, no diet coke, watching the devastation in Japan on TV

And last but not least...Israel!

Travel post #2 - London

The first stop on the trip was London. My sister and brother-in-law had a few days in the city already before I got there. It was my first time visiting the UK and I was very excited! The overnight flight was good, with the new planes with video screens at each seat. I watched Easy A and read a bit before the Tylenol PM took over. I definitely recommend those new planes. All the selections on the video screen makes one almost forget the lack of leg room or arm rest availability. And flying overnight was so efficient! Here's a few of the places we saw on the first leg of this trip...

My first view of London, the last photo I got to take on any of the flights. Next time I will check in sooner to get a good window seat and have my camera ready.

I arrived around noon on Thursday. It seemed easiest to take the Express Train to the city but in hindsight, I'd recommend just getting on the Tube. It wouldn't have taken that much longer and the cost was significantly less. You have to transfer anyway so what difference does it make if you're on a subway or a train car. Not so much! I arrived early at the tube station where we were to meet. It was cold and I had a lot of luggage. So I took off on foot and found my way to the hotel. After checking in and trying in vain to contact Susan and Erik, I headed back to the station, where they were waiting. Oops. The rest of Thursday was walking around the city and having dinner at Santorini Taverna near the hotel. A late night Skype with mom and dad and we were done for the day.

Friday was our bus tour of Windsor Castle, Stonehenge and Bath. Hard to imagine the Queen really lives here...

Next stop Stonehenge. We listened to the history on the audio tour. Interesting to hear what was assumed to be the purpose of all those stones. Really though, they just don't know. Maybe it was just an early WalMart and the aliens are out in space somewhere laughing at us. hmm.

Next we were back on the bus and then on to the Roman Baths in Bath. Those Romans sure knew how to pamper themselves. The aqueducts were pretty amazing when you consider how old they are.

Saturday we were back out on the streets of London. We stopped at Buckingham Palace to see the changing of the guards. Apparently everyone else in London did the same although we were told the crowd was small compared to what happens in the summer. Probably because it was SO.DAMN.COLD. My guess is that the gift shop was doing a brisk business because it was HEATED. Pretty cool to see anyway, even if we froze and were surrounded by the teeming masses.

A quick train ride out to Middle England brought us to Maidenhead. There we met up with my good friend Jon, who lives there. We had afternoon tea (and didn't get any photos) and then took his very cute dog Bono for a walk. We walked around the lake where the Olympic rowing will take place in 2012. I bet it will be exciting to be living there when the world descends on the quiet towns for the spectacle of the Olympics. We had dinner at the country pub Bel and the Dragon (and again didn't get any photos, sigh.) It was a fun day but too short!

Sunday morning we attended services at Westminster Abbey. I thought it would be crowded like the Basilica on Easter but we were among only about 20 people in the nave. Interesting! After services, Susan and Erik took off for Greenwich and I toured the Tower of London and took in the Tower Bridge Experience. Also, SO.DAMN.COLD.

We had plans later to meet Jon at the London Eye to ride the Duck Tour. Unfortunately, technology and timing let us down and although I waited on one side of the Eye and Jon was on the other, we never found each other. As it always seems to go with us, our time together was cut short and I never got to say goodbye in person. I watched the Eye go around and caught up with Susan and Erik after the tour.

Monday we checked out of the hotel, stored our luggage and took off for more sights. We climbed The Monument of the great fire of London 1666. It was quite narrow and quite tall. Susan loved it! :-)

A few more stops on the Tube and we were in Notting Hill. Seemed like a nice place to live, if you had the dough, that is. Didn't see Hugh Grant though.

Last stop was the British Museum. We saw every room and were in and out in four hours. Including lunch. Perhaps we didn't immerse ourselves as much as we could have but we saw every room!

Back at the hotel, we grabbed our luggage and took the Tube to the airport. Airport security is so different in each country I've come to realize. I got a pat down at Heathrow that was like a massage. She didn't leave anything to chance. All my body parts, the bra underwire, everything. And yet, we didn't have to remove our shoes. Apparently only Americans do that and other countries think it's odd. Fine by me!

London was a very cool place, I highly recommend visiting. It was bustling with big-city energy. Also, SO.DAMN.COLD. I am quite certain I was the only person in London in light blue fleece but I wasn't taking it off for anything! Had I only packed for London, I would have been more in style, black leather coat with a cute skirt, warm tights and boots like the locals. I had two desert countries to consider in my packing besides a suitcase full of stuff for the orphanage. I needed a sherpa.

Good: seeing Jon, pomp & circumstance, so much history, Oyster Card, London Underground
Bad: Spotty wi-fi (drank many cups of Starbucks coffee), cars on the wrong side of the road, cold, cold and cold

This is just a snapshot of the snapshots, so to speak. The whole lot of the London pictures are here.

Next up...Ethiopia!

Travel post #1 - By the numbers

Rather than make one giant post about my trip, I'm trying to break it down into pieces. During this adoption process, I have done a lot of blog reading and always felt that people should write more about their travel experiences for those of us who will come along later. Then I went and came home. And realized it's so overwhelming it's hard to put into words without trivializing it or writing a book so long no one will read. And I haven't had time to breathe since I got home with work being so busy.

So, this weekend, I'm going to get it out there. All those things I wish someone had told me before I went and also just the fun stuff. Maybe it will be helpful for someone out there on their way as well.

I took an extended trip rather than just straight in to Ethiopia. I couldn't go so far across the world and not visit my good friends Jon and Susan, living so far away in England and Israel. It made for a whirlwind tour but I wouldn't have changed a thing (except the mixup at the London Eye, but that's a whole other story).

Here's a glimpse of the tour from the sky...

Trip by the numbers:

14 days
4 continents
5 countries
31.5 flight hours
15,419 flight miles
7,726 ft - highest elevation in Addis Ababa
-702 ft - lowest elevation in Tiberius, by the Sea of Galilee
1.6, 16.6, 3.55 - dollar exchange rates for Pounds, Birr and Shekels
2 wonderful travel companions in my sister and brother-in-law
2 long distance friends visited for too short of a time
and finally, most importantly...
1 beautiful baby girl

Some things I forgot, didn't know or remember about traveling to far off places:

1. Write down your itinerary in one place, a convenient place and keep it in the same place for the whole trip. Boarding passes, tickets, passport, ID. All in one place safe from pickpockets but easy to access at the airport.

2. Keep a small bag inside your carry-on that includes the most essential airplane needs so that if you have to stow your carry-on (grr) you can pull it out easily and place in the seat pocket.

3. Keep in that small bag: a pen, or even two (customs forms!), neck pillow (blow up one was very handy), eye shade, book, camera

4. Tylenol PM and as much overnight travel as possible. Saved me from most if not all jet lag.

5. Have a plan for communication. Make a list of all the phone numbers and figure out ahead of time how to call them. Is it 011+number? 01+country+number? Good to know ahead of time so when you just got off an overnight flight and are in a strange place and no one is there to greet you, you don't get frazzled. Not that I did or anything :-)

6. A phrase book or a list of common phrases in whichever language spoken where you will visit. I'd have this list with my itinerary next time so it's all in one place.

7. Did I mention the Tylenol PM yet?

I'm sure there are many things I have already forgotten that I was going to document. These are at least the ones that stood out the most. That darn pen, I always forget one and then I can't fill out the customs forms on the plane. Argh!

What did I miss? What was the one thing you wish you had known before you traveled?

Next up, London...