It has happened! I have a referral for a beautiful baby girl! And since I have officially told everyone who would be upset if they read it here first (and apologies to anyone I forgot) I can announce that I'm on to the next phase of waiting.
I received a call late on a Friday afternoon, snow furiously falling outside and me packing up to leave work. My office is very quiet and I didn't want my coworkers to be the first to know so I ran to the conference room to talk and then ran back to my computer to look at the photos and then back and forth. sheesh. My daughter, and yet not my daughter yet. Joy, excitement, panic, anxiety, it's all there. She's so beautiful! When I saw that her recorded birthdate matches my mother's birthday I knew it was her. She's already 14 months old, I can't wait to meet her!
So now it's back to waiting. Waiting to hear when the first court date will be (March, April-ish?) and then again when the embassy date will be (July-August-ish?). Still so far away. In the meantime, I'm trying to be positive in the face of the "helpful" opinions and advice. It's kind of like when you're ready to jump out of the airplane and everyone wants to help you through it.
You know how dangerous this is?
You know the parachute might not open?
You know the plane might crash?
You know that you might just pull the wrong cord and the parachute will come off?
You know kids are expensive? and need a lot of love? and need constant attention? and you won't know what to do? and you won't get any sleep for the rest of your life? and...and...and... You need to do this and this and this or you won't be ready.
Yes. I know these things. I know that I won't be fully prepared. As is any new mother, whether she carries her baby in her womb or in a picture in her wallet. And while I know that everyone means well, I don't need the doom and gloom of how hard it's going to be. I'm thinking enough of that in my head. And I will be as ready as I possibly can be, with or without the "help". So forgive me if I don't write down everything I'm told. I have to filter or the anxiety might just break me.
Countdown begins. So many firsts to come in the new year. Yippee for early Christmas presents!